Let’s see. First I was born. Then I learned to swim. Shortly after that I must have learned to read, but I don’t remember the learning process. I do remember Dick and Jane and their dog Spot, but we’ve lost touch over the years.
I spent much of my childhood and adolescence with my nose in a book. It started with the “Little House” books, then sequed into an obsession for J.R.R. Tolkien, and I was lost to the world of Middle Earth.
In High School, the dying drama club did a production of “The Hobbit.” I wanted more than anything to play Gandalf. MORE THAN A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G.
- Gandalf and Dwarf
They cast some guy. I was cast as a dwarf which was more wrong to me than you can imagine. Ironically, I was pretty good as the dwarf. For someone with no experience, skill, or even a clue. Then the guy who was supposed to play Gandalf dropped out, and somehow I got the part. Let me just point out here that I was 16 and fully developed.
Yes. Gandalf had breasts.
Oh, and I totally sucked.
In spite of that, I had found my calling and knew that I had to be an actor. When I told my parents, they didn’t laugh. Seriously, I totally expected them to. They not only didn’t laugh, but They even let me have voice lessons.
I went on to get a BFA in acting, moved to New York, pursued a life in theatre, acquired a taste for pricey coffee, and spent too much time temping in corporate America. I am now an unemployed mom/housewife. The irony of a useless four-year degree is not lost on me. Especially since I joked about it when I was in college.
Hahahahahahahahahaha
During the last few years of my 30′s, I did the cabaret thing in New York with a partner. We were blonde and we were good. Then, for my 40th birthday I had a baby. I mean, why not? Who wouldn’t, right?
You know how “they” say “life begins at 40″ or some bullshit like that? Well, The Boy’s life began at my 40, but frankly, I don’t remember much about the 40′s. So I’m hoping that now that he’s 10, life can begin at 50. Especially since I’m “told” I look 35, and I laugh at fart jokes.
I can’t help myself. I think it’s genetic.
